It’s a wild ride on tarmac, yet venture onto an unsealed surface – this is a Range Rover after all and still possesses the full gamut of off-road technology – and it morphs into a giant. The brakes struggle too, feeling the strain of arresting 2160kg. No such shenanigans are possible with the conservative ESP engaged, but while it can’t be switched off completely, it does tend to go all Scott Morrison, heading on vacation in a crisis until the you-know-what really hits the fan. Trail-braking promotes entry oversteer, which the rear-biased all-wheel drive system (with electronically controlled rear limited-slip diff) exacerbates once the throttle is applied. The soft suspension results in significant pitch and roll, despite our test car being optioned with Dynamic Mode – a snip at $430. They begin to protest early, and if you’re driving the Velar SV with enthusiasm it’s important that your first input is the correct one, as there is rarely enough control for you to change your mind. Pirelli Scorpion all-season tyres measuring 265/45 at both ends will be worth their weight in gold when you hit the ski slopes, but struggle to contain 550 raging horses. To be honest, the Range Rover Velar SVAutobiography’s engine vastly overpowers its chassis. Every gap in traffic becomes an opportunity to create a din, and out on the open road the rate of sustained acceleration is borderline unsettling. It’s not an engine that lends itself to economical driving, as each depression of the accelerator dips into the deep, syrupy well of torque to lift the nose and unleash a noise like a bear having a prostate examination. Range Rover’s press release boasts: “The 82-litre fuel tank promises a genuine range in excess of 483km” when you’re spruiking fuel consumption of 17L/100km you know it likes a drink, but at least that’s more realistic than the official claim of 11.8L/100km. It’s difficult to think of a mechanical contraption that JLR’s thumping 405kW/680Nm 5.0-litre supercharged V8 wouldn’t improve, and in general the Velar is no exception. Whether because of greater volumes or simply its development had reached the point of no return, the hot Velar escaped the purge, and we’re glad it did. With Jaguar-Land Rover haemorrhaging money, it took a hatchet to its Special Vehicle Operations, canning the mega-bucks Range Rover SV Coupe and brutish Land Rover Discovery SVX. The Range Rover Velar almost didn’t make it.
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